5 reasons your baby fights sleep (and what you can do tonight)

If your baby is out of the newborn stages, but bedtime still feels like a struggle, with crying, resisting being put down, or waking soon after falling asleep, you’re not alone. Many parents worry their baby is “bad at sleep” or simply doesn’t need as much rest.

But babies often fight sleep for a number of reasons. When you can work out why they are fighting it, a few small changes can make bedtimes feel calmer and more manageable.

Here are five common reasons babies resist sleep, and what you can do tonight.

1. Your baby is “overtired”

Being overtired doesn’t mean your baby can’t fall asleep. Biology means that at some point, your baby will fall asleep, even if they are not trying to.

However, when a baby stays awake for too long, their nervous system can become dysregulated. Anxiety, distress, fear, or something else can block their ability to relax and switch into sleep mode. This often shows up as crying, resisting bedtime, or waking shortly after being put down.

So while overtiredness doesn’t stop sleep altogether, it can make:

• Settling more difficult

• Bedtime more emotional

• Sleep lighter and more disrupted

• Night wakings more frequent

What you can do tonight:

• Aim for an earlier bedtime rather than pushing through

• Shorten wake windows slightly (even 10 to 20 minutes can help)

• Focus on helping your baby feel calm before sleep, not just tired

2. Your baby doesn’t yet know how to settle themselves (and the help you’re offering may not be what they want)

Some babies fight sleep not because they need more help, but because they don’t yet know how to settle themselves, and the support being offered doesn’t match what their body needs in that moment.

If a baby relies on feeding, rocking, or holding to fall asleep, they may struggle when they naturally wake between sleep cycles and the conditions they fell asleep in have changed.

In some cases, babies can become more frustrated by certain types of help. What once worked may suddenly feel overstimulating or unhelpful, leading to more resistance at bedtime.

What you can do tonight:

• Give your baby a chance to try settling before stepping in

• Put them down calm and awake rather than fully asleep

• If you offer support, keep it consistent and minimal so it supports self-settling

Learning to settle is a skill that develops with gentle, repeated practice.

3. Your baby is under-tired

Sometimes babies fight sleep because they simply haven’t built up enough sleep pressure. This is that feeling of needing to sleep, that builds while we are awake.

If naps are long or awake time is too short, your baby may not feel ready for sleep at bedtime, even if they’ve had a busy day.

Signs of under-tiredness can include:

• A happy, chatty baby at bedtime

• Long periods of playing or rolling in the cot

• Bedtime taking a long time, with little distress (although sometimes frustration can show up if they don’t want to be in bed yet)

What you can do tonight:

• Slightly extend the final wake window

• Look at the amount of sleep your baby is getting over 24 hours and reduce naps if necessary

• Keep bedtime calm, but don’t rush it

Small timing adjustments can make a big difference.

4. Too much stimulation before bed

Babies don’t automatically know how to wind down. Bright lights, busy play, noise, or screens close to bedtime can keep their nervous system in alert mode, even when they seem tired.

A baby who is overstimulated may appear wired, unsettled, or resistant to sleep.

What you can do tonight:

• Begin winding down 30 to 45 minutes before bed

• Dim lights and reduce noise

• Follow a predictable bedtime routine (for example, bath, feed, book, bed)

Consistency matters more than the length of the routine.

5. Separation, developmental changes, or shifts in routine

As babies grow, their awareness of the world and of you deepens. They begin to understand that you exist even when you’re not in sight, which can make separation at bedtime feel harder than before.

At the same time, routines often shift. Nap patterns change, they may be attending nursery or spending time with a childminder, and what once worked easily at bedtime may suddenly feel less effective. These transitions can temporarily disrupt sleep, even when nothing is “wrong.”

Developmental changes can also play a role. Learning a new skill, such as rolling, sitting, crawling, or standing, can be exciting for your baby’s brain, and that excitement doesn’t always switch off easily at night.

You may notice your baby:

• Wanting extra reassurance at bedtime

• Resisting being put down

• Practising new skills in the cot

• Waking more frequently overnight

What you can do tonight:

• Offer reassurance in a calm, predictable way

• Keep your responses consistent to avoid creating new sleep habits

• If your baby is learning a new physical skill, give them plenty of opportunities to practise during the day

• Look at whether bedtime or naps need a small timing change

• Allow extra wind-down time if things feel unsettled

These phases are common and usually temporary. Consistent routines help your baby feel safe as they move through them.

Final thoughts

When a baby fights sleep, they’re not being difficult. They’re communicating a need.

Understanding why your baby is resisting sleep allows you to respond in specific ways rather than relying on guesswork. Often, it’s not about doing more, but about doing things slightly differently.

If frequent night waking is part of your experience, take a look at why babies wake frequently at night to help connect the dots. If self settling is the main challenge, don’t forget to read helping your baby learn to self-settle for next steps.

Sometimes babies just need a little support learning how to sleep.